A battle of the mind. It really is.
In the attempt of backing away from my behavior and seeing it from a objective instead of reactive point of view is not pretty. I used to be much better at this.
Some how I've wallowed down to the least common denominator equivalent of reacting. Not sure what precipitated this...the move, the financial stress, the awful and only year in our local public school, the transition to homeschooling. Could be any or all.
But, I had a typically busy couple of days last Wednesday through Saturday: schooling, hosting a homeschooler open gym I started, Flicka's tumbling class, a momma-night-out photography class I got for Christmas up in Rockford (45 min north of me), teaching the first day of spring semester at our homeschool co-op (45 min SW of me), a Girl Scout cookie booth, Valentine's Day expectations, and Pojke's basketball class.
And, I didn't lose it. I didn't completely freak out. Ya know why?
I lowered expectations for myself.
And, the world didn't come to an end.
So, much of my current stress and suffering is simply in my head. Yes, I deal with anxiety. Yes, I have ADD. But, the majority of all this garbage could be better handled if I (one) took better care of myself and (two) would just lower expectations.
It sounds like a "well duh!" statement but when you are thinking you are managing fine, haven't overscheduled, on top of things but suddenly those things are getting harder and harder to deal with...what's changed?
One's attitude and response.
Now, let's see if I can continue to apply it.